The Worst of the Worst #DevLife Jokes

Why did the Scrum Master go broke?

Because they kept trying to change everything, but nothing ever added up!

How many Scrum Masters does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they’ll just help the team realize that the room is too dark and lighting will be improved in next Sprint.

Why did the Scrum Master bring a ladder to the sprint planning meeting?

Because they heard the team needed to “reach” their goals!

How does a Scrum Master like their coffee?

With 3 points of sugar and 2 points of cream!

Why did the Scrum Master become a gardener?

Because they wanted to help teams "grow" together!

What’s a Scrum Master’s favorite song?

“We Will Sprint You” by Queen!

Why don’t Scrum Masters ever play hide and seek?

Because they can’t help but reveal all the hidden issues during retrospectives!

Why did the Product Manager bring a ladder to the meeting?

Because they wanted to reach the market’s high expectations!

How many Product Managers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they’ll just gather user feedback and optimize the bulb-changing process for the next release!

Why did the Product Manager bring a map to work?

Because they wanted to find the roadmap to your heart!

Why did the Product Manager start a gardening hobby?

Because they wanted to understand how products “grow” in the market!

How does a Product Manager stay cool under pressure?

They use an “epic” air conditioner!

What’s a Product Manager’s favorite sport?

Product tennis — they enjoy serving and rallying ideas back and forth with the team!

(Just imagine how bad were the jokes that I did not include.)

Why did the Product Developer bring a hammer to work?

Because they wanted to “nail” down the requirements!

How many Product Developers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they’ll just outsource the task to a lightbulb-as-a-service provider!

Why did the Product Developer become a magician?

Because they could make bugs disappear with just a wave of their keyboard!

What’s a Developer’s favorite snack?

“Byte”-sized cookies, of course!

(You’ll thank me for removing the jokes that didn’t make this list.)

Why did the UX Designer bring a magnifying glass to work?

Because they wanted to focus on the fine print of user experience!

How many UX Designers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they’ll just redesign the way we interact with the switch!

Why did the UX Designer become a detective?

Because they were excellent at uncovering the hidden pain points in user journeys!

What’s a UX Designer’s favorite type of movie?

“Action” — they love the user-centric flow of the plots!

(Trust me, the jokes I did not include are even worse.)

Why did the computer keep crashing?

Because it had reached its maximum level of incompetence, following the Peter Principle!

Why don't systems thinkers ever play hide and seek?

Because they always see the big picture and know where you're hiding!

How many systems thinkers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they’ll just redesign the entire lighting system for better efficiency!

Why did the change agent bring a map to the office?

Because they wanted to navigate the complexities of the corporate system!

Why did the systems thinker become a chef?

Because they realized cooking is all about balancing ingredients in a complex system of flavors!

What’s a systems thinker’s favorite board game?

“Risk” – they love strategizing and considering the global systems at play!

(The jokes not included in this list were much worse. Believe me.)

Why did the Developer break up with their significant other?

Because they realized CI/CD was their true love — it never let them down and always brought their code to production!

Why did the Developer get a promotion for using CI/CD?

Because they proved they could “commit” to success, “integrate” well with the team, and “deploy” great results!

What’s a CI/CD engineer’s favorite song?

“Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey — because they never stop believing in the power of automation!

Why did the CI/CD pipeline go to therapy?

Because it had a “dependency” issue and needed to “build” better relationships!